I have spent the last week or so tormented over the first gift. I always do this for an adoption. I feel that when our children are given to us, I should have something very special for them. Something they will remember and we can see in their room for years to come and say, there is the first thing I ever gave you. This is such a tall task. For Katya it was a little doll dressed in blue with yellow yarn hair. For Zachary, it was a stacking toy I bought in a Russian toy store, and on from there. I guess people are just used to babies coming with "stuff". Like a blankie or a toy or a pacifier. International adoption is not that way. In the past, I pulled clothes out and changed them into stuff I brought right in the orphanage. Literally, they were naked when we got them. These children have never owned anything. They have never had a toy that was theirs or a favorite shirt. So, the first possession I give seems to carry a lot of significance.
I have scoured the Internet, considering this and that for each. Finally, the gifts are bought. For Grace I bought the American Girl Itty Bitty Baby. I think the initial reaction I get when I tell people this is that perhaps I am spoiling her. OK, I would agree to a certain extent, however, the doll is black. It has hair like hers and dark eyes. She comes with a book about her homecoming we can write in and lots of outfits are available for her. Grace is easily overwhelmed in new situations. I have two sets of grandparents dying to see her. So, both sets plan to bring outfits for her baby. They will come to visit Grace's baby with clothes. The thinking being if we made the visits about her baby she would be less overwhelmed. As for Alex, I had to get him a lion. I cannot explain it, but he seemed to just quite a lion. Perhaps I considered Alexander the Great, or the king of the jungle, nonetheless, something to signify his very important station in this family. I found a two foot tall fleece lion that is made of striped fleece. It is soft, fuzzy and snuggle able. After turning two earlier this week, my baby just may need something to snuggle with. Yes, I realize a two foot lion transporting to Haiti may be a bit difficult, but we are taking it nonetheless.
As I sat back completely satisfied with completing this very difficult decision, I found I could not rest long....I had forgotten something important. Something vital to the adoption process when you have multiple children...there is the issue of what Grace and Alex will bring their new siblings. I think this especially applies to Zachary. He needs to feel important too! So, back to the drawing board I go!
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The Color is Chosen...
Yesterday, I blogged about trying to figure out a good playroom color. Fortunately today I had two very solid advisors with excellent track records. First, I had Jack. He is 16 and loves to paint. We moved into this house three years ago and has painted his room twice. Then, there is Zachary, age 7. One of the players for the play room. After much careful consideration, we selected blue. Not just any blue a dreamy bright yet muted blue somewhere between sky blue and periwinkle. Yes, it has one of those fancy paint names, but somehow ocean mist just does not describe it enough for me.
As I stood in the new playroom tonight looking at those blue walls, Zachary was rolling on the now clean floor in his Angry Bird jammies. He was singing and chattering away. I tried to imagine this combined with Grace's singing in creole as she loves to do, oh yes, quite a beautiful chorus was forming in my head. I saw Zachary with his Darth Vader busy marrying Grace's Princess Tiana under a beautiful blue sky instead of a plain wall. I see Alex quietly playing with Elmo and drawing looking up every once in a while taking in his sister with a look on his face that tells me he clearly thinks she is crazy, something he likes to do. I kinda think this look will come in handy for Zachary too. Somehow that bright blue is the perfect backdrop to this expression. Yes, we did it. We captured the perfect Summers family playtime. Up next? The perfect Princess Grace room.
As I stood in the new playroom tonight looking at those blue walls, Zachary was rolling on the now clean floor in his Angry Bird jammies. He was singing and chattering away. I tried to imagine this combined with Grace's singing in creole as she loves to do, oh yes, quite a beautiful chorus was forming in my head. I saw Zachary with his Darth Vader busy marrying Grace's Princess Tiana under a beautiful blue sky instead of a plain wall. I see Alex quietly playing with Elmo and drawing looking up every once in a while taking in his sister with a look on his face that tells me he clearly thinks she is crazy, something he likes to do. I kinda think this look will come in handy for Zachary too. Somehow that bright blue is the perfect backdrop to this expression. Yes, we did it. We captured the perfect Summers family playtime. Up next? The perfect Princess Grace room.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Nesting...for real
It seems like I have written many blogs about nesting. Early on I characterized nesting by buying sippie cups. Later it was clothes and a blankie for Alex. I have bought room decorations, but today I took the plunge. Paint. I started in what will be our guest room. I Painted the top half of the room a cement gray and the bottom a deep mauve with glitter mixed in. The glitter is very subtle, you can only catch a glimpse at certain angles. Anyway, I put my praise music on and sang along and realized this is real. I allowed my mind to wander and think about, what next. Grace's room? I made a list in my head of what I needed. Pink paint. Lots of pink paint. I would do the glitter thing but take it up a notch. I thought about her playing dress up today and even found a trunk to start putting those close in. I made a list of what she needed...frilly dresses, long gloves, hats, many beads, a tiara,,,good thing the trunk was big! And so the day went. Painting, planning, singing and happily nesting.
Tonight, I finally am sitting in my favorite chair, with my heated blanket, dried paint on me despite the shower mulling over a new dilemma. What color? I finally decided next I would do the playroom, and save Grace's room for last. Our living room is two stories. There is a staircase that goes up to a bonus space that overlooks the living room. This is our new playroom, currently it is empty. The main wall is shared with the living room so i do not want to change the color, the living room leads to the dining room and open to the kitchen. I would be painting the whole first floor! Anyway, I want to do an accent wall. I need a color that is not too outrageous as the space is open and visible from the living room, however, I want something fun. As I mull this over my mind wanders to what will go on in that room. I picture Zachary, age 7 playing Star Wars, Grace age 3 playing princess, maybe a tea party and Alex enjoying Elmo. Do you suppose Home Depot has a color that says, the marriage of Darth Vader to Princess Tiana with a tea party featuring the guest of honor Elmo?
Tonight, I finally am sitting in my favorite chair, with my heated blanket, dried paint on me despite the shower mulling over a new dilemma. What color? I finally decided next I would do the playroom, and save Grace's room for last. Our living room is two stories. There is a staircase that goes up to a bonus space that overlooks the living room. This is our new playroom, currently it is empty. The main wall is shared with the living room so i do not want to change the color, the living room leads to the dining room and open to the kitchen. I would be painting the whole first floor! Anyway, I want to do an accent wall. I need a color that is not too outrageous as the space is open and visible from the living room, however, I want something fun. As I mull this over my mind wanders to what will go on in that room. I picture Zachary, age 7 playing Star Wars, Grace age 3 playing princess, maybe a tea party and Alex enjoying Elmo. Do you suppose Home Depot has a color that says, the marriage of Darth Vader to Princess Tiana with a tea party featuring the guest of honor Elmo?
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
The Aftermath....
I guess you could say today was the aftermath of Christmas. I spent time picking up stray bows, scraps of paper left behind, and for dinner eating leftover ham. I must say that maple Dijon glaze I made was pretty tasty the second day too. I could not help but wonder about Grace and Alex. They spent a wonderful Christmas with their Nana and their orphanage siblings. I got an amazing picture of Grace reciting a poem at her school party. Here she was with her hair all done in two braids parted in the middle with colorful barrettes. She wore a little skirt and shirt and I could not help but notice the floral keds I bought her. She had her fingers in her mouth as three year olds often do when they are nervous, but there she was up in front of her whole class. I looked through the faces in the class and knew many of them from previous visits. I studied their smiles and again was reminded of all that they share.
I let my mind wander to Zachary. On his last day before break, they had a party too. He loved telling me about the singing, the artwork, the treats. There were friends woven into every tale he told. Today he even asked how many more days until he could go back to school because he missed his friends. As I put it all together I wondered what it would be like for a stranger to take Zachary someplace new. A new house, new family, new school with nothing familiar. This is what we will do with Grace and Alex soon. I was once again overwhelmed in thinking it through. One of my fellow, and very wise, mamas talks about helping her daughter through the grief of leaving their old family for hers. I see this coming into focus more and more for us, as well as the value of maternity leave to help them to feel secure. I am so grateful they will have each other. A familiar face in the overwhelming world of newness. I am also grateful for the network of mamas so they can remain connected with their first family.
I know that they feel the aftermath of Christmas perhaps in a different way today, but it is my prayer that their day was wonderful with their Nana and their orphanage family. I have a feeling next year will involve the magic of Skype!
I let my mind wander to Zachary. On his last day before break, they had a party too. He loved telling me about the singing, the artwork, the treats. There were friends woven into every tale he told. Today he even asked how many more days until he could go back to school because he missed his friends. As I put it all together I wondered what it would be like for a stranger to take Zachary someplace new. A new house, new family, new school with nothing familiar. This is what we will do with Grace and Alex soon. I was once again overwhelmed in thinking it through. One of my fellow, and very wise, mamas talks about helping her daughter through the grief of leaving their old family for hers. I see this coming into focus more and more for us, as well as the value of maternity leave to help them to feel secure. I am so grateful they will have each other. A familiar face in the overwhelming world of newness. I am also grateful for the network of mamas so they can remain connected with their first family.
I know that they feel the aftermath of Christmas perhaps in a different way today, but it is my prayer that their day was wonderful with their Nana and their orphanage family. I have a feeling next year will involve the magic of Skype!
Friday, December 21, 2012
Readying for Christmas
This has been a very busy week for me. I once had a friend tell me,"my husband believes in Santa too. He wakes up Christmas morning and believes the whole event happens by magic.". I guess the same could be said for my husband. I take the helm for Christmas and make it happen. To be fair, he has so many other helms to manage and I love doing it. So, I spent the week shopping, wrapping, and in the case of tomorrow, baking. This is kind of a hard week for me because I am terrible at containing myself when I find the perfect thing. The thing that will make the kids go crazy with excitement. I found that thing. Even though I have seen the reaction a bunch of times, i never get tired of the oooo's and ahh's. That really is a gift to me.
I must admit however, the were some rough periods. I found myself browsing the Barbie aisles for Grace and the toddler aisles for Alex. No need for that stuff this season, and the reality is I have lots of homecoming stuff for them anyway. There was that family situation I mentioned earlier that continues to require a great deal of prayer. Through the midst of the difficulties, I put myself to work making a list of all things that were good about the babies being in Haiti. Here it is:
1. We have very close friends who have laughed and cried with us and mostly prayed with us through every minute of this wait. Miraculously, they now just may have an opportunity to adopt as well. I cannot help but wonder how God's timing has nudged their hearts too.
2. Today, Grace got to have her Christmas party with the teacher at her orphanage. This is Grace's first time in school. She has learned to wear a uniform, learned to function in a classroom and today got to celebrate along side this amazing lady.
3. On Tuesday, Grace and Alex will have their last orphanage Christmas. I do not know if their parents are coming or not, but if they do it is their last holiday with them. I pray their birth families will come, as they are amazing people who selflessly are sharing their children with me. More importantly, they have come to know our coordinator as Nana. She has been a focal point in their lives. She not only single handedly processed their adoptions, but held them through skinned knees, and hard times. This is her holiday with them.
4. As for us, this is our last holiday as is family unit. The last time our house will look like this, not a bad thing, just that life will change dramatically soon.
I am sure there are a million different things that are so amazing about Grace and Alex still being in Haiti, but one thing is for sure, next year we will have a million blessings to count with them here.
I must admit however, the were some rough periods. I found myself browsing the Barbie aisles for Grace and the toddler aisles for Alex. No need for that stuff this season, and the reality is I have lots of homecoming stuff for them anyway. There was that family situation I mentioned earlier that continues to require a great deal of prayer. Through the midst of the difficulties, I put myself to work making a list of all things that were good about the babies being in Haiti. Here it is:
1. We have very close friends who have laughed and cried with us and mostly prayed with us through every minute of this wait. Miraculously, they now just may have an opportunity to adopt as well. I cannot help but wonder how God's timing has nudged their hearts too.
2. Today, Grace got to have her Christmas party with the teacher at her orphanage. This is Grace's first time in school. She has learned to wear a uniform, learned to function in a classroom and today got to celebrate along side this amazing lady.
3. On Tuesday, Grace and Alex will have their last orphanage Christmas. I do not know if their parents are coming or not, but if they do it is their last holiday with them. I pray their birth families will come, as they are amazing people who selflessly are sharing their children with me. More importantly, they have come to know our coordinator as Nana. She has been a focal point in their lives. She not only single handedly processed their adoptions, but held them through skinned knees, and hard times. This is her holiday with them.
4. As for us, this is our last holiday as is family unit. The last time our house will look like this, not a bad thing, just that life will change dramatically soon.
I am sure there are a million different things that are so amazing about Grace and Alex still being in Haiti, but one thing is for sure, next year we will have a million blessings to count with them here.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Traditions
I have really liked our sermon series at church. Our pastor has talked about the paradox of Christmas. Identifying with the sacrifice of the birth of Jesus compared with our quest for stuff in shiny packages. Today, he discussed joy and sorrow of the season. This really spoke to me, especially the sorrow part. It reminded me of all the people who cannot be with us this Christmas for one reason or another. I thought of the babies, relatives and friends etc... However, the suggestion was to surround the sorrow with joy. This reminded me of all the Christmas traditions my children have come to depend on. Things that give me great joy to do.
One of my favorites is known as "WFSJ's". This refers to my tradition of purchasing special Jammie's for each child to wear Christmas Eve. In my mind these are not just any Jammie's. They have to have a special meaning. There were the Ohio State Jammie's for my Ohio kid, and the Star Wars Lego Jammie's for another kid etc... I like the Jammie's to be reflective of who they are. This year I got awesome and unique Jammie's, however cannot share what they are as one of my children reads this! Jack has taken the wfsj tradition and added a Santa hat. He has to sleep in a Santa hat Christmas Eve too, another tradition that has spread to the other kids too. In fact, today we had to be sure we knew where the hats were.
Then, there are the presents. Each year the kids each get a stuffed animal. These too have had themes like last year when they all got giant Angry Birds. They each get a Starbucks mug, which in all reality is more reflective of me lol! Probably the most fun thing is baking day. My mom always put Johnny Mathis on the stereo and we rolled out cookie dough and decorated them. I carried this tradition on too. It was always funny to me that when the children were very little we ended up wo just two or three cookies with two pounds of decorations on them and the others were plain. They would carefully see how much they could get on the one cookie, painstakingly taking forever to do it, then lose interest. Well, that or have a tummy ache from eating too many sprinkles and frosting. The important thing was they established the ever important cookie for Santa.
So many things help us to celebrate the Christmas season aside from this. There is spiral cut ham, heart attack potatoes, kids in Jammie's all day, Christmas movies all afternoon, and a relaxing mom and dad. Yes, I will take joy in all of this in the coming days, and dream of the days the babies will be here to enjoy it.
One of my favorites is known as "WFSJ's". This refers to my tradition of purchasing special Jammie's for each child to wear Christmas Eve. In my mind these are not just any Jammie's. They have to have a special meaning. There were the Ohio State Jammie's for my Ohio kid, and the Star Wars Lego Jammie's for another kid etc... I like the Jammie's to be reflective of who they are. This year I got awesome and unique Jammie's, however cannot share what they are as one of my children reads this! Jack has taken the wfsj tradition and added a Santa hat. He has to sleep in a Santa hat Christmas Eve too, another tradition that has spread to the other kids too. In fact, today we had to be sure we knew where the hats were.
Then, there are the presents. Each year the kids each get a stuffed animal. These too have had themes like last year when they all got giant Angry Birds. They each get a Starbucks mug, which in all reality is more reflective of me lol! Probably the most fun thing is baking day. My mom always put Johnny Mathis on the stereo and we rolled out cookie dough and decorated them. I carried this tradition on too. It was always funny to me that when the children were very little we ended up wo just two or three cookies with two pounds of decorations on them and the others were plain. They would carefully see how much they could get on the one cookie, painstakingly taking forever to do it, then lose interest. Well, that or have a tummy ache from eating too many sprinkles and frosting. The important thing was they established the ever important cookie for Santa.
So many things help us to celebrate the Christmas season aside from this. There is spiral cut ham, heart attack potatoes, kids in Jammie's all day, Christmas movies all afternoon, and a relaxing mom and dad. Yes, I will take joy in all of this in the coming days, and dream of the days the babies will be here to enjoy it.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Praying for a Christmas Miracle...
What a busy day today. I spent the first part of the day running errands, trying to do some Christmas shopping, then, well, I gotta be honest here, I did briefy get a manicure. I will admit I am trying to be a reformed short nail girl. I have placed myself on a strict regimen of gel manicures to promote nail length before Princess Grace comes home. There are two reasons for this, first I rather enjoy a good hand massage and a few minutes break during these busy days, besides I am pretty sure I will have little time for this when the babies come home. The second reason is I am trying to prepare myself for my girly girl coming home. She loves clothes, nails, hair and all things girly. As the manicurist carefully painted my nails I let my mind wander to the times when Grace and I will go together.
As for the rest of the day, it was spent cleaning out closets and throwing things away. I would love to say that I have some impressive decorating feat that I accomplished, but mostly just tried to create room for new things and got myself covered in dust and Pledge. However, I did get to use some power tools at one point mounting molly bolts, that was pretty exciting.
Mostly, I spent my time praying. Asking God for a Christmas miracle. Today, we are essentially at month 22 since beginning this journey. We have had a total of three referrals, only two of whom are coming home, countless delays and crazy circumstances. Now that we are nearing the end, we pray for a Christmas Miracle. This step historically have taken families 2-8 weeks, however I heard last week of three families flying through in 9 days. If that happened for us, we would be done with this step next Friday, right before Christmas. Much as we would love things to work out that way and give us our perfect Hallmark holiday, we realize this is in His hands. He has shown himself in so many ways through this adoption, the way the money came about, the constant communication through Zachary, the addition of Alex to our original plans, all of it...He will show himself again, whether it is a Christmas miracle or not, it will be His miracle and just as great.
As for the rest of the day, it was spent cleaning out closets and throwing things away. I would love to say that I have some impressive decorating feat that I accomplished, but mostly just tried to create room for new things and got myself covered in dust and Pledge. However, I did get to use some power tools at one point mounting molly bolts, that was pretty exciting.
Mostly, I spent my time praying. Asking God for a Christmas miracle. Today, we are essentially at month 22 since beginning this journey. We have had a total of three referrals, only two of whom are coming home, countless delays and crazy circumstances. Now that we are nearing the end, we pray for a Christmas Miracle. This step historically have taken families 2-8 weeks, however I heard last week of three families flying through in 9 days. If that happened for us, we would be done with this step next Friday, right before Christmas. Much as we would love things to work out that way and give us our perfect Hallmark holiday, we realize this is in His hands. He has shown himself in so many ways through this adoption, the way the money came about, the constant communication through Zachary, the addition of Alex to our original plans, all of it...He will show himself again, whether it is a Christmas miracle or not, it will be His miracle and just as great.
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