Mother's Day

Wow. Mother's Day. Where do I even begin? The flurry of emotions surrounding this day is just amazing. I guess I could start at the oldest kid and work my way down. My oldest is now 18. She has been a challenge. We have had many steep mountains and many deep valleys to quote Steven Curtis Chapman. The reality is she is graduating in a couple weeks and has signed with the Air Force, so chances are this is her last mothers day here for a while. Then, there is Jack. It is his birthday today. He is 16. It seems like he was just 6. Today, he was driving my car. I was really touched by him this weekend. On Friday, I was shocked to find out he had no plans. No movie, no friend's house to go to. We went to frappuccino happy hour at Starbucks and I asked him what was up? No plans? It was then he shared over a cookie crumble mocha frappuccino, he did have plans, but he just wanted to be home a night...with me. We watched tv and popped some corn and I felt quite blessed to have him. I must admit, it was a bit bitter sweet as I realized college was racing toward us like a freight train and he too would soon leave. Then there is Zachary. Six year old Zachary. He presented me with a framed work of art where he carefully drew me a palm tree and a dolphin and further sea scape, "Love Zachary". It said. He sat on my lap at the restaurant and told me "today is a perfect day.". He started making summer plans with me like the pool. He excitedly told me he could not wait to be in the deep end this year. Ah yes, he will be here a while, and for that I am grateful. Through my happiness over this six year old who sees the sun rising and setting over his mama, I couldn't help but miss my Grace and Alex. I wondered if they even knew what their life will be or if they know how much this mama misses them. That thought was also, a bit rough to wrestle with. However, god, being God, sent me the one person who could bring me the message I needed. It was Tim. Our church generally plays contemporary Christian music for worship. Tim plays keyboards, and through communion he plays something a bit more subdued for that important time of reflection. Today he played a hymn I knew so well. "Ask and it shall be granted unto you....Allelulia". My first thought with this was how much I missed my mother-in-law. When she was alive we all went to church together. During this song Tim, his mom, his brother, and his aunt would sing harmony. Even though my mother -in-law and his aunt are now gone, I could hear their singing and it somehow felt comforting. As I heard the singing in my mind, it dawned on me the words...ask, it shall be granted. It reminded me through the difficult waiting, I just needed to be faithful and it will come. I still miss my babies, but am grateful for a husband who gave me what I needed today. Oh yeah...he got me amazing flowers too! Here we go, off to another week of waiting, hoping for good news.