This has been a difficult few days for us. We have had some private family issues that have shaken us to the very core with an incredible amount of grief. Through it all, I found myself questioning what God's plan was for us. Why the adoption delays? Why these other issues. Through it all, I found myself strangely attracted to a song that I listened to quite a bit in the last few days (odd, me, a song...lol). It is "I Surrender". I guess somehow I felt that if I listened to it enough times, I would be able to do it better. Surrender is so hard for me. I did find myself saying over and over that I was giving these situations to God. I had no control over either and that was all that was left to do.
Just yesterday, I learned that must be what He was waiting for. Waiting for me to trust his word is true. It was Tim's birthday and I asked our coordinator to send him a new picture. She posed our babies with Grace blowing him a kiss. She also shared our adoption decrees are done. Legalizations are done and we are off for final review in the Ministry of the Interior. I never dreamed we would be here so soon. I never dreamed this would be the week these children were actually mine. In fact, as I found out I was at work with a coworker who was so excited for us. She had goosebumps. I could not muster the excited reaction. I was just so dumbfounded I think I just blankly stared at her. Even now I can hardly believe that after considering this journey and getting things moving almost two years ago, they are actually ours.
Today as I busied myself with getting things ready for the babies and tried to put my head around them being home soon, I continued to ask God into our family situation and surrender that to Him. As the song goes,"I lift my burdens up to you, your loving Grace will see me through"
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