There are some big differences between this adoption and the adoptions we completed before. In other adoptions we simply had no information. No updates, nothing. This one I have the privilege of speaking to the orphanage director, and now friend, any time I want via email. This seems like such a blessing most of the time, but there are times it is more of a torture of sorts. Yesterday, I got an email that Nate is sick. He is crying a lot, and he was taken to the doctor yesterday and is quite anemic. He has been anemic before and has even had transfusions. I gave this all to God. He placed the loving orphanage director there to care for him when I couldn't and I know she loves him very much, but still...it is my baby and I want to be there. I cried as I wished I could dry his tears and put him on my lap or squeeze him tight through the blood draws, but I can't. I am frustrated by this too.
Then, a cool day happened. Tim played a breast cancer event with his band. It was a whirlwind of emotions for me. It was the good music and the breast cancer survivors and the texting of my mom recovering from chemo, all of it. It made me glad to be there with friends. After Jack and I did what we do best, shopping. On the way home though, the tide turned again. Jack's throat hurt, he is starting to run a fever and coughing. We came in the house I dosed my child with advil and tucked him into the couch and our favorite holiday movie was on, Christmas Vacation. I know, odd, middle of October, but still. I rubbed his head and took great joy in caring for my baby here. Somehow, I felt through this I helped Nate too. I hate that Jack is sick, but somehow I think God gave me this caregiving opportunity to heal my saddened heart at not being able to help Nate. Now, to take a realistic stance and hope it doesn't spread through the house! LOL!
Oh, so sorry to hear about both your boys. When Toby was in the hospital having his heart surgery, a dear friend of mine shared this passage with me taken from the Apocrypha. It was nice to read and I thought I'd pass it on to you. I was unfamiliar with it since I don't really read those books from the Catholic Bible, but nonetheless, it was comforting. Praying for health all around!
ReplyDelete"Honor physicians for their services,
for the Lord created them;
for their gift of healing comes from the Most High,
and they are rewarded by the king.
The skill of the physicians makes them distinguished,
and in the presence of the great they are admired.
The Lord created medicines out of the earth,
and the sensible will not despise them.
Was not water made sweet within a tree
in order that its power might be known?
And he gave skill to human beings
that He might be glorified in his marvelous works.
By them the physician heals and takes away pain;
the pharmacist makes a mixture from them.
God's works will never be finished;
and from Him health spreads over all the earth.
(Sirach 38:1-8)
Oh, that must be tough, Amy! Hopefully he will be back at the O when I arrive so that I can love on him.
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