I realize it has been a little bit since I blogged last. I suppose I was waiting on some sort of divine inspiration. The reality is, it just wasn't coming. I felt the emptiness of my arms as this paperwork drags on, and our court date just doesn't come. This is the dark side of the adoption process. The times nothing seems to be working and the thought of waiting more months becomes so insurmountable I can hardly breathe. However, God being God, would not leave me in this place for too long. Today, I reached out to Whitney. She is the missionary living in Haiti who visits my babies every week.
I was in luck! She answered me right away. She saw Grace and Alex today. Alex kept her entertained with his smiles and easy going personality. Grace was clingy and a bit tentative about sharing with the other children. This always worries me. In her pictures she looks sad. I have heard about her clingy issues before. Until now I was able to chalk it up to grief. She lost her family on that far away mountain top and is now in this strange place. Although she is fed well and well cared for, it must be so confusing. Different groups come in out with little consistency and lets face it, none of these white American adults look like her. I have spent evening s worrying and worrying. Would she be ok here? Would she bond? What is it going to be? It adds to the frustration in the wait despite all of my research on attachment strategies. Then, Whitney gave me a simple reminder. She pointed out that Grace being clingy meant she wants someone to hold on to. It means she has attached before, so my job will be to remind her how to do it again. Again, a happy thought. I thought about the gift that my work has become. A new hospital, a better schedule and a very generous maternity leave to cocoon in with my baby girl, and her beautiful brother. I guess I have no real adoption news, and it doesn't make the process any quicker, but I have renewed hope that all will be ok. As I mulled all this over, courtesy of Pandora, well I would actually like to give the credit to God, I was reminded,"strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord."
I was thinking the same thing, Amy. Grace being clingy is a very good thing. And even her being sad shows that she knows she is missing something better. She has obviously been loved. Praying that it all goes quite quickly and smoothly so she can come home to your loving arms as soon as possible.
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