I have mentioned Zachary many times in this blog. The fact is, he is such a blessing to me. It was him at age four that out of the blue said,"Hey mama?" "hmmm?" I answered. "I was talking to God. He said I would have a brother." I reminded him at the time he already had a brother, Jack. He just laughed and said,"No mama, a brother MY size." I explained to him that at that time we weren't sure another sibling was in the cards. It was then he told me not only was he to have another brother he would be brown. Six months later we got the offer to adopt from Haiti and here we sit, Alex on the way. There have been several other instances where he has relayed his chats with God. They are not that common, but we have learned to listen when he tells us. My favorite story was when he was about four. He explained that he remembered making people with God. He described people of all shapes and sizes. He then chuckled a bit and said, "me and God, boy were we tired!" his description was innocent and pure. The joy he felt slaying the story was obvious. Besides, we hadn't been talking about that. It was just another out of the blue conversation. So, we have learned that we need to hear our little boy, and I have come to treasure his opinions.
So, today, the boys and I set out on a mission, ok mostly me. After losing Nate I was struggling a bit with trusting Alex's adoption, or even Grace's. Today I decided it was my job to have faith in God's promise to me. We went out looking for girl stuff. Zachary held my hand as we walked down the aisles. He pensively looked over the sippie cups and picked out some pink princess cups, saying,"here mama, Grace will love these!" Jack was maybe a bit less interested, but he played along as much as a fifteen year old boy would, although knowing him, he knew this mattered to me, so it was nice. At one point Zachary was walking, holding my hand and looking quite serious. At last he says,"Mom?" "hmmm?" I answered. "I think I am going to like having a little sister. I have thought about it, and I think I will like it."
For me, that was the ringing endorsement I needed. One thing about adopting children is that each child has their own identity. Their own role in the house. Adding two more children is a bit harrowing for them. Jack had a rough time wrapping his head around Zachary's adoption after being the baby for ten years. All it took was getting him home, and Jack made it work. Now they are very close despite the age difference. Katya is preparing to go to the military after graduation this year, so the adoptions do not bother her at all. Zachary was my worry though. He has been the baby for five years,now he won't be. However, he surprised me as he is really exploring his new roles. Grace's protector, Alex's teacher about all things boy related, and on and on. He is excited to not be the littlest. So, once again, this adoption has come full circle. Out of the grief and back to sippie cups and Zachary, my amazing little man. I only hope that one day I know the Lord as well as him! As for me, I sent the day in the land of pink dresses and Hello Kitty art supplies for our next trip. I can't imagine anything better.
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