Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Long Absence....

Yes, I realize it has been five months since I posted last. The reason for my posting absence I guess is best explained by simply this...the waiting has been very difficult. It has become like the movie Groundhog Day. Every day just like the last, every step another stumbling block.  However, today it is my birthday.  It is time for reflection. Truth be told I have been reflecting for some time now and feel I have finally gotten a handle on things.

I was talking to a friend several weeks ago and described my function in life like that guy that spins the plates on a stick. Each family member has their own stick in my metaphor and I am spinning those plates:  making dental appointments, doctor appointments, homework help, meetings with teachers, discussing relationships and solving teenage angst. Then there is the housework, bills, pet care and the cooking. Spin, spin, spin....that's me. For the most part I love it. Master plate spinner. Oh yeah I got it all handled. That leaves the things I do not have handled...Grace and Alex.

We finally went for adoption business and a visit in July. All went well and it was great to be with  them. We left Haiti optimistic that things would roll along from there and we would be bringing them home for the holidays. Then, the first hurricane hit. Grace's mom was late for her birth parent interview as a result and they rescheduled her. For two months later. Then, hurricane Sandy hit and she missed her court appearance as they closed court. Then, the phone system is having problems and they cannot find her now to appear in court. We are on terminal hold until they can get word to her to come. Then, in the midst of all this, Alex's mom although she has made all her appointments, had another baby. Wow! Really?  So, to be honest it has been a daunting few months on the adoption train.

That leads me back to the spinning plates. In my mind, I stand before God with two empty sticks waiting on God to start the plates spinning. I actually had this image in my mind until Sunday. My pastor described a difficult circumstance in his life when he was able to realize his circumstances belonged to God and it was our job to trust Him. At that moment, I realized these pretty babies are not mine. They are His.  I needed to trust Him. I realized it was time to surrender their sticks, take a seat in the audience and wait for Him to reveal the real show. Somehow I think it may bit just the slightest bit more amazing than spinning plates.

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