Forcing the issue...

Sometimes, I find myself in my impatience pushing through things in the hopes of a quick answer. Last week I found myself feverishly sending emails and texts in a futile attempt to come to some answer on moving ahead with our adoption, my mom's cancer and some other things. It was as if I became very proactive answers will come. It led to as my husband so affectionately put it, me, banging my head on the proverbial wall. Yes, after ten years in neurosurgery prior to my triumphant return to emergency medicine, I know better than to use the real wall! Nonetheless, I found myself at church yesterday. I looked around at the expected thinner holiday crowd as everyone was trying to have their last hurrah of summer or whatever. The pastor commented on how he expected the crowd to be smaller, but he just knew that of those of us listening God knew we needed to hear it. Once again, there was a lot of truth to that.

We listened as he shared the accounts of how the fast and prayer was going. There was one account by a friend of mine that opened by saying she had been faithful with her prayer and it didn't seem that God has revealed anything. That struck a chord with me. All this furious texting, emails, prayer, yet no answers. Then I slowly began to realize all those things were not of God, they were of me hoping for God's quick answer. Geez. Later, more and more got revealed to me leading up to an email on my adoption list serve. A friend has posted all the words to a favorite song of mine. A Chris Thomlin, the chorus of which says,"strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.". I smiled as I read it. Ok, be patient. I get it. So, on to the continued fast and prayer, off with the texts and emails, unless necessary and let God do it.

Until then, I hear my little Nate is doing well. I left a photo album with him so he wouldn't forget his mommy. In the meantime Zachary has spent his evening trying to figure out where Nate would fit on mommy's lap ( he takes up some room and isn't giving up his spot). Once he figured out those logistics (he would give up one leg for Nate to sit on), he moved on to just which slides at the Great Wolf Lodge Nate would be able to go on. He sweetly described each slide he thought would work and said he would have to go down first to show him. What a brother he will be!